Remember the last time you witness the first ray of sunshine? Or the seeds first breaking the ground? What about the new buds that sprouted from the old tree? They are fresh and hopeful. They are the start of many more. They are just like the Januaries.
You probably reflected on your 2022, envisioned your 2023, and took initial steps toward your "plan", because you can't wait to make that happen.
That's been me for many years, except this year. I learned my lesson.
January 13, 2019
I was ready to grow in my role. However, while working on the budgeting for our next fundraising, I was told that the company had to pause the payroll starting the following month. As an international student turned temporary worker in the United States, I had two options:
1) work unpaid for the visa, and pray for the company to get funding soon;
2) find another job & visa sponsor within 60 days or leave. Failing either one will lead to running out of money or time. And going back home to my parents was not an option.
So I took on the challenge. Even better, I transitioned to People Operation. "Finally, I did it," I told myself, "not only I found a new sponsor, but also a career pivot from accounting."
When I thought life couldn't be better, my new employer decided to close the San Francisco office. Literally, two months after I started.
Here we go again.
January 14, 2020
I returned home (China) after 8 months soul-searching trip. Yes, I decided to give up my visa and left my life in San Francisco in May 2019. After realizing none of the hard work makes sense if I don't reclaim my freedom. I traveled to 30+ countries, read more than 20 books, and made many meaningful connections that inspired me to re-design my new chapter. And it was good to be back home feeling grounded and hopeful.
January 23, 2020 (2 days before the Lunar New Year)
Wuhan locked down. You can breathe the anxiety. Less than 10 days since I returned home, my plan was up in the air again.
January 24, 2020 (Lunar New Year's Eve)
A confirmation letter had arrived. It's my Canadian Permanent Residency, which my friend nudged me to apply for in 2018. I remember telling him I would never use it because I was "all set" in the States.
January 26, 2020 (Second day of the Lunar New Year)
I left China. And it was the hardest decision I've ever made. It felt like now or never. For two reasons:
1) if I don't leave home now, I might never be able to;
2) if I leave my parents now, I might never be able to see them. Families in the airport were crying, no one knew the situation, and it felt like the last farewell.
In hindsight, it was dramatic, yet it was a natural reaction from the unknowns. I made a very logical decision, and I'm just grateful my parents are healthy. It would be devastating if anything happened to them during the pandemic, and I won't forgive myself.
January 01, 2021
I was committed to an instant grocery delivery project, like Gorillas (a Berlin startup) in Montreal, which didn't work out as planned.
While settling in a new city as an immigrant who doesn't speak the local language, I became intolerant of daily struggles. One of them is biking in summer. It's hot and humid, and I can never wear short skirts on a bike. So to change that, I took my first sewing lessons and learned about fashion and product design.
January 01, 2022
Another strict lockdown was announced in Canada. Change of plan. We booked last minute flight to Mexico. I never planned to stay 3 months, but it was a blessing. I found a local production studio for my skirt project and finished filming the Kickstarter video. The whole adventure led me to eventually quit my accounting job at the end of 2022 and commit to design.
January 01, 2023
In the midst of layoffs, I thought I needed to be more job ready by finishing the Bootcamp first, but I'm already helping some amazing startups improve their user experience and product strategy.
Ouf… that's a long list of Januaries. What's the lesson?
What if the company didn't close its office in San Francisco? What if I didn't push myself to leave? What if I didn't receive my Canadian PR on time? Or I decided to stay in China with my parents? What if I kept my plan and didn't go to Mexico in winter?
There would be no product launch. I would still be anxious about my visa and could be laid off at any point. I wouldn't meet my boyfriend, and I wouldn't discover my passion and pivot my career again...
My life could take a drastic turn in any of the Januaries, but I just had the best one.
So the lesson here is to allow January opens the doors for you, not restrict it.
Try to
- Find your north star of the year. It can be growth, adventure, or something grand and nurturing for you.
- Include a Plan C in your milestones. It is the unknown. It might be an opportunity or a challenge. It's something you can't control.
- Only set goals for your immediate plan, like finishing a course in 3 days or applying for 4 jobs in one week, just to hold yourself accountable.
So many things are out of our control, especially for international students and new immigrants. You might think your January has failed again, but it's not true if you are heading in the right direction.
Follow your north star and leave some space for serendipity. Life has so much to offer. Trust yourself can make the best decision for that moment. And what can be more important than learning and growing into your true self?